EP19 - Success Against Our Children

In this episode of 'The Family Ties,' co-hosts Frank Abdul Shaheed and Faridah Abdul Tawwab Brown delve into the critical issue of how media consumption and the pursuit of material wealth have impacted family structures and the innocence of children. They reflect on their personal experiences growing up and the cultural influences that have shifted society from a community-oriented focus to individualism. The discussion touches on several aspects, including the significance of music and media, the role of parents in curating these influences, and the loss of moral guidance. They emphasize the importance of re-establishing secure, nurturing environments for children and the urgent need to re-align societal values with moral and spiritual guidance to protect future generations. The conversation also highlights the broader implications of these societal shifts and the ways in which communities can reclaim their foundational purposes.

00:00 Welcome to The Family Ties Podcast
00:36 Reflecting on Music and Family Values
02:06 The Influence of Music on Youth
07:05 Materialism and the American Dream
12:08 The Rise of Fear and Media Influence
21:39 Urbanization and Its Impact on Children
26:30 The Decline of Religious Values
28:54 A Great and Dreadful Day
30:12 Struggling with Faith and War Zones
30:56 Natural Curiosity and Morality in Children
31:34 The Role of Nature in Moral Guidance
33:16 The Fig and the Olive: A Metaphor for Growth
37:53 The Importance of Parental Guidance
41:06 Media's Impact on Children
43:44 Challenges of Single-Parent Households
45:21 Interracial Relationships and Identity
49:33 The Need for Guidance and Revelation
50:16 Concluding Thoughts on Family and Society

This podcast is about family life as a means to address current problems in American society. A scripture based African American perspective. 

Welcome to The Family Ties, a Prescription for Society.
 Through this experience we invite you to join us in an exploration of the concept of family ties as a prescription for society.
 
 YOUR HOSTS:  Frank Abdul Shaheed &
 Faridah Abdul-Tawwab Brown
 
 This episode was edited by Darryl D Anderson of AMG - Ambassador Media Group visit https://www.ambassador-mediagroup.com/
__________________________________
Music Credit
Back Home by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-official
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons / Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0)
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Copyright 2024

Transcript

Frank: 0:16

Peace be upon the family, as we welcome you to another experience of The Family Ties, a prescription for society. I am your cohost, Frank Abdul Shaheed.

Faridah: 0:27

And I am your co host Farida Abdul Tawab Brown. Before we get started, don't forget to subscribe so you can stay up to date and get all the latest episodes. So Frank, it is wonderful to be back here with you again, behind the mic, sharing ideas and really Reflecting on the importance of the family as a prescription for society. You know, when I think of family, I was thinking of music as we so often do on this podcast. And I was thinking back to a time in my life. I was think about a senior, a junior. sophomore or junior in high school. And it was around the time I have shared with you before and people who know me know that, you know, when we grew up, I was a child of the eighties, you know, we weren't really allowed to listen to music on the radio. You know, our music media influences were carefully curated by our parents. But, you know, by the time we got into high school you know, they, they kind of trusted that we developed a Quranic filter, if you will, in terms of what you listen to. And so this Quranic filter came into play, you know, this scriptural filter came into play in a way that didn't turn out so pleasant for me. But I think it was an indicator of you know, what, what our parents were trying to inculcate in us. And so around this time, this was like early nineties and there was It's like a late 80s, early 90s. And I think there was like a committee for the junior prom and there was a solicitation went out to find, what songs, people would listen to or they wanted on the playlist. And I remember there was a particular song that I found to be so offensive. And I don't remember who the musical group was, But something like pumps and a bumps and you know, the, the music video, if you will, had, so you may, you may recognize this, you know, how to like MC hammer. Was it MC Hammer?

Frank: 2:28

Yes.

Faridah: 2:28

Really? I don't remember him being that raunchy. Well anyway, you know, I, I a girlfriend of mine and I, you know, we, we were very vocal about not including that song and other such songs, you know, including a few Tupac songs. And there were quite a few Quite a few other artists that we said, you know, they're disrespectful to women, you know, and we don't want them on the playlist, you know, so we got a lot of pushback from our classmates, but it really sticks out in my mind because. As music is, is a cultural artifact, and it is often reflective of, of the cultural norms of the time, particularly among young people. But it also influences you know, people and, and a society. So I think that, you know, when we're talking about family and the structures and the institutions the growth of healthy family life and you know, and we're building and looking to what supports that. I think of the question, you know, we've been recently discussing the idea of the dreams and hopes of, of our children as the future and what our role is as the adults in their lives, both the parents in a family unit and also members of those righteous members of society who want to see our society flourish. We must consider at what point in our recent history did we begin loosening, I think, the reins of responsibility in terms of protecting and securing. the interest of children and of the innocent. And the reason I brought up that, that anecdote is because I took it upon myself, my friend and I took it upon ourselves to voice our displeasure with this. But what we realize is that this was overwhelming in the culture at that point in time and the adults in our society, they must've seen it as economically there was an economic incentive in this music and perpetuating it. And then those adults in our lives on a regular basis, like our teachers and administrators and, you know, who, who were there and were helping us make decisions about the type of music that would be played in the presence of young adults. They were seeing this as inevitable. This is just what the children are listening to. This is what the kids do. So in a way it's, it's a type of neglect, you know, that exists in the society. And so I, I ask, you know, I pose the question, you know, when, when did we begin neglecting this awesome moral responsibility to secure the innocence of, of our youth?

Frank: 5:09

Well, firstly, thank you. Thank you for posing that question. Firstly, second of all, thank you for welcoming me back to another episode of this great podcast that I really appreciate to be a co host on, and it's always good to hear your voice and always good to hear you project your perspectives, which is many of our perspectives When on the topics that we always have. So you talk about carefully curating as you use that term, they were carefully curated. Well, when I was growing up my parents specifically, my mother, she carefully curated our music as well by. Philadelphia International Records. She carefully curated it with Kalimba Records, which was the Maurice White with the Earth, Wind and Fire. She carefully curated our music by listening to the Solar Records, the Sound of Los Angeles, which it was what it was abbreviation for. So we grew up listening to what she listened to. So we didn't have the opportunity to listen to our own music. because we didn't have our own music. Our music was their music and what brought them a sense of pride. What brought them a sense of neighborliness and collectivity and, and wanting to be with each other because music was always the backdrop for every event that we've ever had. And it was always the music. So the music was always pleasant. It was always respectful and it was always dignified. And even if it seemed to not have any dignity, any dignity in the music. It was coded in a way that the children would never be influenced by the lack of dignity in the music. It was terms used that only adults knew that understood that this person is talking about something that they shouldn't be talking about. But as a child, we were not influenced by it because we didn't understand what it was. So I would say that the material urge in us as a people, specifically African Americans, specifically inner city the material urge in us and having these opportunities open to us to pursue now, just as a form of context, you know, in the eighties, specifically interest rates were kind of on the way down because they were really bad in the seventies, but interest rates were on the way down, you know, things seem to be. We would seem to be able to quote unquote, chase and pursue the American dream more in the eighties than we could have in the seventies because of disinflation and those types of those things. So it appeared to us that we had avenues that we could be welcome in to pursue this material wealth and pursue this American dream as, as was reported to us as something that we should, should, should buy into. But all of that, in a sense, was an illusion, in a sense, because we jeopardized the very thing that was holding us together, our foundation, to pursue this dream that we thought on the other end would put us in a better situation, and that was material, material wealth and material wealth without any direction, any purpose, just to have the material wealth. The 80s was a very individualistic. Driven, motivated decade. It was about success. It was about what you could get. It was about how you could stand out in the crowd, keeping up with the Joneses, in a sense positioning yourself as status. You know, there were certain decadence in the community in the eighties that really promoted that. And one of those words was drugs, illicit drugs. And there was a particular illicit drug that you had to have wealth in order to have. To have an opportunity to, to, to get so when people understood that they must have assumed that you had access to wealth. And as I said, it was such a an illusion that it flipped almost overnight that now even the person who didn't have material wealth or access to it can now have these types of interactions with materials that was beyond their control. So long story long, as I like to say. And in this pursuit we neglected what our focus was for attaining this material. And ultimately that was to secure our future, which means to enable our children to have greater opportunities. And these greater opportunities were designed to secure their future, not only our future, but also secure their future, which meant it was generational. So if I sent you to college, it was for you to secure your future. Meaning your children's future that was lost in materialism of individualism of the eighties, if that was a sufficient attempt to answer the question.

Faridah: 10:15

No, it, it, it was more than sufficient. And it, it brings up more questions. I think I'm not, I don't know the title of the film, but I think there was like a quintessential 1980s film. I think it featured Michael Douglas.

Frank: 10:31

I

Faridah: 10:31

think at, was it Wall Street? Something about Wall Street. I'm thinking, I'm

Frank: 10:34

thinking Wall Street. I don't know if that's it, but I think it was Wall Street. Yes, and was it Gordon

Faridah: 10:37

Gekko was the name of the character or something? Anyway the, the, the infamous quote from that movie was greed is good. And so when we're talking about greed or any of the deadly sins, we're talking about appetites unchecked. So So when you're discussing that anything that doesn't have direction is unchecked, it's undisciplined. So this is, this is where we get greed. This, this is where we get this desire because the desire for material establishment is not a bad thing. It is necessary. It is necessary to, to maintain human life and human society. The, the problem You know, as we know, for those of us who, who are sensitizing ourselves by scripture or with scripture we understand that it is the imbalance or the undisciplined acquisition of wealth, which is at the root of all evil, or which is there, there's a downfall you cannot. pile, you know, wealth and expect that it will do something for you. You know, it has to serve the interest of humanity. And as you said, it has to serve the interests of the next generation. So when we're surveying, I think that was so important to bring up in terms of the, the, the acquisition of material wealth in an, in a rampant, undirected manner that is separated from its purpose. And I think a lot of that occurred during the 80s. As a child of the 80s, I recall I don't actually recall it, but in hindsight, I realized that, you know, I had friends who had cable television. So the 80s was a time that cable news was becoming prevalent. You had CNN. So now that you have like a, a, a news cycle, a 24 hour news cycle, a channel that's dedicated completely to the news, well then you have to manufacture or find what is titillating, what will lead the news, what will have people turn you the channel. And for the most part, that that's anything that is inducing fear. You know, so the crime reports are what typically leads, you know, whoever has the best and most gory crime related, you know story that's even today, that's where people are turning or that's where people will stream, you know, in today's parlance, but back then it was on television. So when you're bringing. You know, it wasn't necessarily that violence or violent incidents were increasing outside of what you did mention with the, the difference between you know, cocaine, which was the drug of choice of the wealthy and what was introduced in the late 1980s into particularly into the inner city setting. And that was crack cocaine, which, which wreaked havoc in, in many ways that we're still We're still living with the the aftermath of that today. But some of the things that happened in the beginning of the 80s, as I mentioned, was this the, the inducement of fear among America's parents. I remember the, there was a, a, a movie about the, the real life story of, of Adam, I forget his last name, but Walsh, Adam Walsh.

Frank: 13:50

Yes.

Faridah: 13:51

Yes. That's his. And so he was a young boy who was kidnapped by a stranger. And he was, unfortunately to God we belong and to him we return, you know, he, he was murdered. But this. Yeah. story, which gained nationwide attention. And of course his father and his parents, you know, his parents went on to start you know, a big crusade against crime and, and in honor of their son. But this, along with the 24 hour news cycle that brought these stories, these stories of violence and criminality, it began to hype up this nationwide fear, stranger danger. I remember, you know, all these. public service announcements about not taking candy from strangers and don't get into strange vans and, you know McGruff the crime dog, you know, these are all things were very prevalent in my, my childhood and what they serve to do that the function that they served was to make parents fearful. And as a result of that, Children stopped playing outside, you know, there were many more latchkey kids because at the same time more women were going into the workforce, more mothers, and so, you know, the children had no one to come home to for various reasons, but mainly because both parents were working outside of the home to provide for this material resource for the family. You had MTV, MTV. MTV. and BET, Black Entertainment Television. So now they're, they're targeting this is, these are stations that are targeting young people, youth, with music videos. And so now this is another reason now the children aren't being allowed outside. They're, they're being induced to consume these videos and this music that is moving. from a place where music was about dancing or having fun or enjoying life. Not that it was all pure and clean, you know, prior to the 80s or late 70s, but now we're moving through the 80s into a period of time where the early 90s, where you have music, you know, whether it's, you know, grunge the hard rock what is the heavy metal thing inducing, you know, violence and, and depression and, and self harm, you know, among those who enjoy that genre of music. And then among the, the rap music that was taken over by, you know, the West Coast scene and and then becoming highly sexualized. So all of these things are things that while children are moving away from the the natural space, being outside, playing with their peers, playing in, in, you know, Even if it's not the natural world, you at least have a, an empty lot where you can run and be free and look at the clouds and, and, and play with your friends, do what children are designed naturally to do. Now these things that at once, all of these forces in society coupled with this desire for material excess. Imbalanced out of separated from its purpose, all of these things, I think, conspire in a way that the innocence of Children is now vulnerable. It's been exposed and the very people who are supposed to be protecting are now off the job, not paying attention.

Frank: 17:04

Hey, the slogan was I want my MTV.

Faridah: 17:07

Yes,

Frank: 17:08

that was the slogan and this is how this is the scheme, how the scheme plays itself. So Michael Jackson as we mentioned before, in one of the previous episodes, you know, he had a, a video that was world premiere thriller. It was so, so big, so anticipated that HBO. Had its debut. So, you know, we would go to my aunt's house cause she was the only one who had cable at the time. And we all at my aunt's house at eight o'clock on a Friday night because they going to MTV is going to premiere thriller. So the, the urge is this is something that we should be, we should get cable. Let's get cable TV that like this, this, this is look at what it's doing. The regular TV that you typically get, you're not going to get. Access like cable, cable is another form of social, social elitism, let's use that term. Like you're moving up the social ladder to an elite position in society because it represents a level of wealth for you. So get cable TV and you'll get all of this exclusive stuff that you can't get on regular TV. That's the draw. So we all now buying cable and we're all going on the cable. But what cable does is it opens up a pathway that you're unable to recognize immediately. And now all of these influences are coming in and you can't control all these influences because it's overwhelming your senses as an adult. So you can't even determine what a heads or tails yet. But while you're trying to determine what's heads and tails, your children are now being bombarded by images and imagery. Three. That often later on in their life will become detriment to their own natural development. So you talk about separating from its purpose. Absolutely. America, United States of America was created to to bring about a picture of humanity of a group of people who were separated from their purpose to for them to reclaim the purpose. Man in itself, man in this environment and what he creates and how he engages often will separate man from his true purpose in an effort for the commercial or material wealth or acquisition. So you, you see it in America currently. You'll have people who are associated with certain faith. Certain religious faith that when you think about it, you wouldn't think that it would do anything that's wrong or detrimental or anything like that, but they have commercial stores that you walk into and they sell the worst of the worst, the decadence, they promote decadence in people. And when you ask them about it, the first thing they'll say is, Oh no, this is not for the religious group. This is just for the people who just want to consume it as if to say that we don't have any responsibility for what we're promoting to you. We don't have any accountability, no responsibility. Hey, this is America. This is where I can have my best life. This is, I can do whatever I want to do in the pursuit of commercial material establishment. This is what it is. So we see America as this place where all freedoms are completely unlocked to you. You can have whatever you want to have. And in that creation of that, the balance to that, the antidote to that is that a group of people who were separated from that purpose now reclaim their purpose. And now we'll address. The ills of society and in addressing that the greatest voice that we can have and the greatest expression is we can have once again, is securing the future is to making sure that we protect the innocence, protect the ability. and make sure that these Children have protection and pathways for them to naturally develop themselves in a very unnatural place.

Faridah: 21:23

Wow. I think that's so important what you said about in a very unnatural place because I think that's what we're describing that happened in our lifetimes is that we moved from what is more natural to more natural. to an unnatural place. Even when you think about these, these great trends in human history, but right now speaking about American history, when you look at the fact that the great majority of Americans now live in urban centers. Right. And in fact, the majority of the world's population now lives in, in urban centers, but this move from a proximity, a close proximity to the natural world, an environment that that promotes, as we discussed in the last podcast, that promotes the, the wonder, the natural curiosity, even of the adult. It does that with the child, but if, if we remain in environments where the, the creation is available to us, to observe and to, to immerse ourselves in and to reflect in or, and upon, then you keep this flame of curiosity, of natural curiosity alive that also binds one to young children. You know, I spoke about how the children, you know, brought out the child in me, that childlike wonder, but also. The environment can do the same, you know, for one. And that's the point that you were making. But when I look at the, the majority of the population now being focused in urban centers and to the extent that those urban centers are conscientiously planned in a way that preserves. a connection to the natural world, I think we will see some of that flourishing that we're describing. But when, when the resources either don't exist or are not prioritized in a way that's, that recognizes that environment plays a huge part in the well being and the interest of children, then I think we will find the situation that began for us in our review part of me in the time that in our lifetime in the 1980s and really manifested itself in the 1990s. And so one of the things that I was going to share is that there's an interagency called the child stats. It's called the forum on child and family statistics. And there are different entities within the U. S. Government that that work together to provide statistics and do research on the welfare of America's Children. And they've identified several indicators, right? There are seven indicators that they say will speak to the well being or the ability of children to be productive. And those those seven are seven domains are family and social environment. They are economic circumstances, health care, physical environment and safety, behavior, and that behavior refers to things such as the, the, the young person's behavior. Do they engage with illicit drugs? Do they, you know conversations around sexuality and things that they're engaging in? So that's what that refers to, education and health. So We're talking about here, we're talking about the family, but I, the reason that I brought this up was that the, the physical environment we've been designed by the creator to interact with our physical environment. So, if we are going to be living in urban centers, it is critical that either we make sure that we have access to urban centers, as my parents made sure that we did every summer by going to Girl Scout camps. out camp and spending the entire, almost the entire summer there. Or you make sure that you pay care, careful and close attention to the design of the open and public spaces so that children who are in the city and cannot leave for a number of reasons, they have access to the natural world. And so I, I bring that up because the confluence of events and circumstances that we're remarking on, whether that's targeting of children with the, the popular culture, the music, the music videos, targeting their parents with, you know, fear inducing news cycles that promote this idea that your children are not safe outside. So the very place where they're in touch with the natural world is the place that they shouldn't be. And now that they're in the home, we're going to allow them to be these willing, targets for both advertisement and for the negative messaging that came along with the rise of both hip hop music, grunge, heavy metal, alt metal, that heavy rock music, all of these things, which had terrible influences, increased suicide, you know, suicidal ideation in Children These are, you know, increased the, the desire and the idea that that looseness, that promiscuity,

Frank: 26:24

that,

Faridah: 26:24

that, that sex without the benefit of marriage was an acceptable thing. And I think that it's telling that the 1990, the early 1990s was the last time that the majority of American adults identified themselves as Christian. I mean, let, let's, let, let's think about that. We're talking about the, the fabric of a society. We're talking about all these things that manifested. So we had you know, all the things that we described, you had the crack cocaine epidemic, you have the epidemic of greed, of the pursuit of material wealth without direction, without purpose and without discipline. You have the prevalence of targeting young people with music and ideas that promote immoral behavior and behavior that can contributes to family structures that are weak because of young people are, are engaging in premarital sex or extramarital sex, then they're having some of those young people are going to get pregnant. and have children without the benefit of a healthy family unit. So all of these things are contributing, but I think the statistic on religion helps us understand where this comes from. So many of us as adults and adopted this greed is good. this idea that our appetites should run us, that our appetites should be obeyed. Do you remember that Sprite? Obey your thirst. You know, there were all these ideas, right? Obey your thirst. So this idea that, that our appetites could run us, that was what was being promoted to the adults. So what did we do? We let our foot off the gas. We separated ourselves from guidance. And anytime you separate yourself from guidance, you're going to find the chaos. That we found in the 1990s that began increasing it exponentially in the 2010s and we find the statistics that are alarming and that notify us that they are the proof. That we have neglected the pathways that Secure the interests of the innocent.

Frank: 28:32

I don't want to use any spooky language because I'm not spooky and I don't want to spook anybody up like these Conversations that we're having a very intellectual. They're very dark provoking. They're very moral They're they come from the the purity of our own soul So I don't want to spook anybody up with what I'm about to say, and I'm not a fan of disclaimers either. But anyway, I would say this, that scripture tells us more specifically in the, in the Bible it talks about a great and dreadful day is what is promised a great and dreadful day. So you say, how can you have both at the same time? Well, for many, it's going to be dreadful because they have to be held accountable for all that they've done. And specifically those things that they've done were along the lines of immorality. They've done along the lines of just neglecting and separating. Something that God made from his true purpose. So you have to help be accountable for that. But those who kept a good life, it'd be a great day for them because they are will be rewarded with their obedience in their regardfulness to their creator. So you know, a lot of that is very flowery and a lot of it seems to be something that's far off. from us. But that time is today. There is for many of us a great dread in the air. There's fear. There's I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's tomorrow going to hold. Let me just hold my family together. Let me not do anything. Let me just kind of just forget. Just turn everything off because I don't, I don't know what tomorrow has. I don't have any faith. I don't know what's going to happen. It's not that I don't have any faith. I don't know what my faith should manifest itself into. I believe in God. Yes. And I believe he's going to deliver me, but I don't know what that looks like because outside of my door is a war zone. I have no answer to that, but in that same Tom, in that same presence, there's also the remedy at the same time, and that remedy exists. There's a language for that remedy. It actually exists. So I don't want to make it seem or, or, or spook people up and say, Hey, you know, the answer is here. We just follow this rule. Yes. First of all, you have to be obedient. That's first, firstly. Secondly. We talked about the natural curiosity. The natural curiosity in a child is based upon their very nature. That's it. And built in that nature is a morality. It's a natural morality. A child understands when a child does something wrong, they know. They may not know the consequence of it, and they may not know the ramification of them doing a wrong thing, but the soul registers upon them upon itself that, Hey, I think I may have kind of transgressed a little bit here, and it would try to self adjust. It's just natural for it. So we're talking about the natural curiosity is in a moral sense. It is in the moral sense. So when we move to these areas where we can get more access to nature, that aligns us back to our natural sense of things that puts us back a self correction, if you will, for us to see the world does not. Compromised, not recreated in a way that takes us out of our good senses that we've seen. We talked about cable TV. We talked about media in a sense. And that's one of those situations. And it is a lot of good information is really good. And it is a lot of good, but there's a lot of harm in it as well. And in that sense, we just have to have good discernment to determine what we need and what we can't, but we have to have discernment. In order to know these things as opposed to just taking it all in and letting it just the wash, wash with it washes and the rinse, rinse with it rinses. So, so we need to get back to that nature and get back to that moral, that moral tude as you, you mentioned once before. And did I use the tude correctly? I'm not really sure. Turpitude. There we go. I'm sorry. There we go. Thank you. Thank you. We need to get back to that and back into these more in these natural settings for us. So we know scripture comes. Scripture comes, revelation comes, communication from God comes upon the nature. It comes upon the nature. You have to have an awareness of the nature. You have to be conscious of the nature. You have to have a moral moral interaction with the nature in order for guidance to come to guide you to the next level of what you need to do. So I want to just, just real quickly. Recite a small passage out of the Quran. And it talks about this progression and we initially talked before about children and they're the bright eyed child with just the wonders of the possibilities. They know no hesitation. They know no barrier just in their eyes. They're saying we, this is everything we can do whatever we want to do. And this goes along that and I'm going to. Say it, but I'm going to paraphrase it in a sense, because it's a certain I want to really focus on. So it says by the fig, it talks about the fig by the fig, the olive, the mountain, and the security of a city. We have created man in the best of modes. This is what. Has been revealed to man. The fig, the, the figment, the, you, you, you look at a fig, a fig newton that most of us eat. Fig newtons. It's a, it's a it's a food with seeds, many seeds in it. But these seeds are very soft. And you can actually digest these seeds. You can chew these seeds, you can do all those types of stuff. It doesn't hurt your teeth. These are seeds. The, the, this is the seed, the figment of imagination of a child. This is what it is with, with the. Direction of moral energy in a consciousness, the fig now develops itself into an olive and olive has. A hard seed in it. So these small seeds have now consolidated itself into this one huge hard, hardened seed, which means, hey, it is concrete. It is something that's firm. It is something that's substantial. It is something to be used for benefit. The seed and not only for the olive, the olive also has oil that you can use to burn and to use it from different things. So from out of the figment comes this concrete thing from an abstract situation to help society. And once that moves, the next level of it is now the mountain, which means the establishment. This is something that is firm, a mountain is a, is a firm thing in the land that, that presents itself as a an idea, it presents itself as a logic, it presents itself as a movement, as a concentration of, of what man's life should be and what direction it should go and is now firm. And in that, it is now creating ourselves going forward as a development of all of these firmaments to create a city. Thank you. The city has all aspects of the life for the humans, has all aspects for development, has all the protections, has everything that life needs for it to be what it needs to be. And once it gets to that establishment, man is reminded that in his development of this natural progression that you were formed in that same process. That you were formed in the best of molds. And if you travel upon that pattern of the guidance of the nature and the guidance upon the nature to its establishment, then it would express that man has presented himself as God has created himself to his fulfillment to be in the best of molds for creation. And that's what we should determine our life to be. And that's what going forward should plan our life to ensure that we secure our future, which are our children.

Faridah: 36:36

There is no better remedy than, than the guidance of God and, and the mercy that he shows us by God's grace. revealing his will for us as well in our creation and the natural world around us. You know, there's this, this, this complimentary understanding that the guidance that we receive, that we cannot reach that, that highest level that you just described, this stage that you just described, we can't reach that without the guidance. But that, that guidance is not just limited to scripture. It points, we're also pointed to these, this complimentary reality that exists around us that, that elucidates what has been revealed to the prophets. And so I, I thank you for sharing that with us. It also reminds me about, you know, how Allah also tells us elsewhere in the Quran. And I'm paraphrasing what means that, you know, we were, that he says, don't you see that he created you in, in, in differing stages. You know, so it reminds me of this conversation you're having about how we move from one to the next, to the more highly developed. And, and so bringing it back to the question of when, when did we begin neglecting that responsibility and how does that happen? And then the remedy that lies within that The recognition and the assessment and the reflection, the, the, the remedy is there, like you said, like you identified within it. And so I look back to this idea of Rahman Rahim, this meaning the God describing himself most frequently in the Koran, the, the scripture that was revealed to Muhammad the prophet prayers and peace be upon him, that Allah describes himself most frequently as the the merciful benefactor. The merciful Redeemer, so the one who gives without expecting anything in return, so generously to all and sundry, the air we breathe, you know, the resources that we have in earth, all of that is open and available to all of humanity. And then we have the merciful Redeemer who Who allow those who, who take up the covenant to benefit from that in, in a, in a way that is that as you said, that it is beneficial for generations to come that secures the interest that takes the human being and, and redeems him or her. And so I think when I look at those two descriptions of God, it points us to a reality. In this, you know, what you just discussed, the developing from stage to stage, it, and, and ultimately securing the interests of the innocent and our future, is that we must consider what supports, God has already told us that he's the merciful benefactor. So he's told us that whatever we, it is that is necessary for us to be successful as human beings, he's put it in this earth for us.

Frank: 39:46

He's

Faridah: 39:46

put it in our creation, our very creation. He's put it in us. He's put it in our, our, our desire, deepest intuition and desire and connection with him. So when we look at that and we see the mercy of God, that we, it's, it's all been, it's been given to us. It's all available to us. Then we have to go back and look, well, that means the only thing that is stopping us from our children from being successful as the extent to which we utilize what God has given us.

Frank: 40:15

Absolutely.

Faridah: 40:15

So it's all about what we are willing to commit ourselves to as the adults, as the parents, as the concerned family and community members. Are we willing to sacrifice the, the permissiveness that is implicit in freedom. Not the freedom to take responsibility, not the freedom to be productive, but are we willing to look at the aspect of freedom that means permissiveness, to do what we want when we feel like doing it and say, no, we're going to put shackles on that because that's what's separated from the purpose. And we're not going to allow ourselves those entitlements as a community of righteous people, as an ethnic group. ethical army concerned about the future. We're going to say no, we're going to begin putting boundaries around those things that would harm our children. We have epic, epic rates of obesity that are directly correlated to the media that our children consume. We have rates of Yeah, we have, we have tiredness. We have I'll just read you some statistics from the American association of pediatric, of pediatrician or the American academy of pediatrics. And it talks about this very thing that we were discussing. We discussed the greed, we discussed the licentiousness, but even when we're discussing the media and the role that the parents had, what, There's another verse in the Quran where God talks to the human being about the sacred role, the sacred connection of parent and child. Well, that's something that that God has given us, has given the human being to support the development of the child. of the human family, of the human society, is that sacred connection. So it's our responsibility to do whatever we can that supports that. Well, what happens when, according to this recent study that's published in the American Academy of Pediatrics journal, the average eight to ten year old spends nearly eight hours a day with a variety of different media.

Frank: 42:14

That means that's eight

Faridah: 42:15

hours of the day that they're not spending with their parents. Right. They're not spending engaging with the most important people in their lives. What does that do to the sacred connection of parent and child? We have older children. That means 11 years and up and teenagers spend more than 11 hours per day. on a variety of media. And then they say that up to 71 percent of children and teenagers report having a TV in their bedroom. So when you put all of these things together, whether it's a smartphone in the hands of your, even our young children, our babies under two years old they are consuming media when parents are, are tired, when they're exhausted from doing what, what will we have, have we been invited to do to separate the pursuit of wealth. separate the pursuit of material interest from its purpose, the purpose being to support the next generation. And then we have an entire infrastructure and we're not going to solve this in the span of one conversation. But we also have to talk about what is it that supports the life of the young person, the development, the the, the development of the confidence that they'll need, the self esteem that they need in order to move forward. firmly toward their realizing their dreams and their goals. Well, they need to feel confident in the love and concern that their parents have for them. They need to feel safe and secure in the, the structure and guidelines and discipline that their family sets for them. But if both parents in the family, or As is increasingly prevalent, where we're living, our children are living in single parent households and only 37 percent of African American children, 37 percent of them are living in homes with their, both of their biological parents. Let that rest with us, our listening audience. So that, that doesn't mean that some of these families are not made up of, you know stepfamilies and, and other situations where you come together, but that means an overwhelming majority of our children are being raised in single parent households. So now you have one parent. Usually a mother, but sometimes a single father who is doing the nurturing and the procurement of material means to support the life of the child. This means something's falling through the cracks. This means that, that, that idea of everything that we is needed being in the human person themselves or the, the environment around him. That something is not being tapped into. So we are going to have to address that as well. You know, we really are going to have to address that.

Frank: 44:54

Well, I See another movement and this is all tied in, this is all together. So I don't, I don't want to pull one thing apart and say, this is the, the reason why all this stuff is happening. But this is one of those movements that we currently see that many of us may not identify currently that this is an issue, but later on in life, we're going to realize that this is an issue and this is interracial. Relationships. So a child has to struggle to identify who they are because my mother is of one particular ethnic group, but my dad is from another ethnic group. Am I saying that they should be from the same ethnic group? I'm not saying that. I'm saying that currently, because that's the movement, if you look at all of the commercials on TV, everybody's an interracial family on all the commercials, they're promoting this in such a way that it seems like people, oh, they're doing, oh, they're cute, oh, look at the babies, oh, the babies are so beautiful and all of that, and they are beautiful because they're babies, you're absolutely right, but at some point in our in our sojourn in this country, In the next couple of years, if not immediately, that's going to be another issue that we're going to have to try to tackle on how those children identify who they are because of a movement that has been introduced to us without any particular guidance or any particular reason. It's just another freedom that we have that we're exploring because we just want to have the ability to do something different. Life has been so overwhelming as you have. Articulated with some of these statistics that many people have already checked out of life. Without even, but, but, but still alive, I would say they've given up a lot of hope on what it is that they can fix or get back to the concept of what they think America should be and what family life should be. They've given up to the point where now they're willing to do the most radical or the most. Can't think of the word, the most in it, the most, what is the word? Extreme. I'm sorry. Extreme. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Pardon me. The most extreme thing to create their own protective environment to, to have a life. Although they know that this life is separate from the other everyone else in the, in the common life, but for them, it's, they wanted to get away from it so much that they would do the most extreme thing to try to have a life that they think is good. Because I don't want to gauge the real issues that we see in life every day in society today. So getting back to a lot of the statistics that you have articulated and how these children are influenced by. Just social media and all these different media platforms. And as you've mentioned before, the 24 hour news cycle and how even the 24 hour news cycle isn't even 24 hours anymore. That lifestyle, that life has shortened itself to the point where we're constantly always being engaged with these things. This stimuli for us is constant all the time, a child with an iPhone, and I've said this when it first came out if you have a two year old child that can unlock your iPhone, that doesn't guarantee them any academic success or intellectual success at all, doesn't guarantee anything as a matter of fact. You kind of put them in a situation where you're going to actually retard that process. Later on down the line, because the natural progression didn't take its place, this natural progression, as I mentioned before, that upon this natural progression, man is created in the best of modes, which means that man is influenced. So if the influence comes in a very natural way that complements the soul, compliments the nature, then the best life comes. So for our. Esteemed and noble and honorable audience. I would ask the question over the last 20 years of us buying into the concept of this individualism and materialism, what has it gotten us? Well, it's gotten us this podcast, I can tell you that. Because there's a need for it, because ultimately what we initially thought was the way to go because of the doors open and invited us in, we went in without, without a guide. And we see that with scripture. We see that with people who are very articulate in scripture, but they don't have a guide to take them through to point out the emphasis of scripture for that, so they can use that to help us tackle the issues that we have in our life today. You must have a guide. That's right.

Faridah: 49:35

Always. I mean, that's, that's part of the design. You know, the, we recognize that there is a, a response that there's a part of the human being that is searching for guidance. Always. There are seekers of truth. There are seekers of the way that, that, that has always been a facet or a feature of human communities and human societies is the seeker. And so that exists within us as part of our beautiful and excellent design. Then Then Yes, so if that exists as part of our design, then that is clearly means that there's something that God has provided to respond to it. And that is revelation. And that is the guidance that is found in the creation. And so I just want to say you know, as we wrap up the podcast, I think you brought up so many things that we don't have time to explore right now. But But God willing, we will have time to explore in future podcasts. And I would say that one of the troubling things you brought up, you know, the increase, you know, I was just looking at some some other statistics on the state of African America or, you know, they say Black America. I'm very uncomfortable with that language. So I usually, you'll hear me you know, my, to our listening audience, substitute the term African America, but the Pew Research Center they did cite statistics that said, one Black, Black Americans, African Americans are less likely than other Americans to be And then they said, the following data point was that about a sixth of married African American adults, 17 percent are married to someone who is not African American or black. So speaking to the concern that you raise, and I know that we will first go on record as saying that the most important concern is the most important picture is the human picture. The most important concern as, as God tells us in the Quran is, is the state, you know, you can, there's a reference, you can Mary there are all types of people you can marry, but the most important we want to marry believers, right? We want to marry those who have a certainty that the creator. is the one who is responsible for our life and to whom we will be accountable upon our death and on the day of judgment. So, and then there is a, you know, report of the prophet peace be upon him that says that you can marry a woman for, you know, this is, you know, relating to both sexes, but it's specifically mentioned about a woman, you know, you marry her for her beauty, for her wealth, for her status or nobility, but the most important characteristic is her piety, her connection with her creator and how that affects her relationships with humanity. So with the, you know, that having been said, of course, I think the concern that you bring up is that that I think, you know, that, that alarms me is that particularly there's, there's a, a problem that exists. within the African American community. And that is that we have relinquished the covenant that was established with our creator in the bowels of chattel slavery. And that was a covenant that said that we would obey God. We would follow his guidance. And in return, he would set us free, point us in the Direction of the destiny and he would evolve us as you so beautifully pointed out and illustrated with scripture You he would evolve us and that importantly, that this people who had been denied who have a Covenant with god would be evolved not just for our own freedom, but to serve as a witness for humanity and to establish the science of freedom and liberation for humanity for the rest of the world to see, including the people of the book, the people of religion, the people of faith, including the Muslim world, right? That's, that's what this people has been evolved for. And so when that is your covenant and you let that go, then the fall will be swift. the fall will be, it will pervade every element of our being as a people. And so I know we have to close out this segment. I pray that we'll have you know, that we'll pick this up where we left off because I think it's an important situation circumstance, but I think the, the issue is for me, at least is not so much that Two human souls find something meaningful in one another and they, you know, and they marry and they, you know, they have children and they are trying to live a good and righteous life. The situation is that we, as like the collective, that element that you described, we go from individual to family, to the society, that the collective is sick and you don't deal with the, when the collective is sick, you have to start the, the medicine, the remedy for that with. The different, the individual parts. Right. And so individuals have to begin seeing that the future of the African American family is important and that our decisions are not just made, like you said, about our own individual success but that they are made with the interest of our future and our collective in mind.

Frank: 54:42

I believe that children are our future.

Faridah: 54:44

Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Frank: 54:47

That's right. And show them all the beauty they possess inside,

Faridah: 54:52

give them a sense of pride

Frank: 54:55

and make it easier. And let the children's laughter remind us how, how it used to be that, that, that laughter is something that really just so brings it back to, yes, pure is innocence in this. It's just, it's a wonderful thing. A child's laugh. So,

Faridah: 55:09

and we must be willing to sacrifice to protect that purity.

Frank: 55:14

Yes.

Faridah: 55:14

If we are not, we have failed. We are certified failures if we continue to refuse this responsibility. It's not easy. It's a struggle. But we have to struggle with our entire selves and that wealth that we were discussing in order to secure the interests of the future.

Frank: 55:36

Absolutely. Well, Farida, the praise is for God. We have moved one step closer to destination excellence.

Faridah: 55:45

Until next time, let us remain conscious of our creator, of the sacred relationship of parent and child, and of the family ties that that bind us subscribe to the podcast and come back next time for a new episode of the family ties

Frank: 56:00

from Frank Abdul Shahid

Faridah: 56:03

and Farida Abdul Tawwab Brown,

Frank: 56:06

peace be upon the family.